It's Thurs. Time passes So fast..I'm 24, the recital's over and my period is finally here after being late for more than a week. Tmrw would be the Make Me Famous performance. The last performance for the year. I would like to do the Emerge routine. Next time then, no rush. If I'm still alive tmrw, all would be good. I feel a little daring, performing a new routine with just 2 nights of rehearsals.
My bestie told me that she was gonna fulfill my top 3 b'dae wishes. Isn't she a Darl? I LOVE her so much. Told her not to but she insists. Stubborn girl. I shall get her something nice for X'mas too. I haven't gotten her anything nice lately. Have been so broke. Kim from Bobbi's Studio told me that the DVDs are Incredible. I believe her. Because Felix is Incredible.
Today I cried and cried and cried at work. Work sucks. I'm having a writer's block. I feel wasted and frustrated. Maybe it's PMS. one more min and I can eat... Sheep has been really understanding and supportive. He's still making hell alot of noise about my dancing. It's very funny because dancing is my life. I can't tell him that, he'll never understand. But when it comes to work, he's very supportive. My relationship with him..How should I put it? I love him very much but we have different expectations. How do I divide my thoughts? I don't know. I only know how to miss him. I need him when I miss him and I miss him when I need him. He is my other half. So its not just a love, its a need. I have so many thoughts in my head. Thoughts of murder, thoughts of food, of God, of friends, of Mummy, of Felix, of dance, of money, of so many things. I'm not a planner. I'm a do-er. My thoughts are mostly of now. But it doesn't mean I dun think of the future. I do, but not like him. I want our own house too. That's why we're saving. I always think of our studio. It's the most exciting part of all. He said we're going Kiting on Sat then we can go to the Arcade. Im looking forward to it.
Today I wanted to scream until my head bursts into little pieces and hoped that the soundwaves will slice the people around me into halves. As my mind drifts from thought to thought, visions of starting my spinning pole class haunts me. Will it really happen? Is it gonna be Me? Im depending on you God. Only you can save me now.
sakura blossom falls at: 5:48 PM
