Today I received a call from Les. She shared what happened to her for the past 2 years and how God has touched her life. Now even her hubby is a changed man because of her love, God's love. Amazing. From a spoilt rich man's daughter to a humble and loving wife full of faith and God's wisdom. She has impacted my life is such a great way. God's love is real. His presence is real. His powers are real. Suddenly everything seems so small beside the truth.
Tmrw would be the performance by the trio by Acro Polates at the canto pop place that I really won't step foot on except under special circumstances. It is really exciting to do that perf just that its making me nervous coz I have to do camp the next day. But that's life. I gotta live it.
sakura blossom falls at: 2:06 PM
Out of touch...
Had three classes today. Felt really tired before gg for class. I was forming images of caffine saturated beverages in my mind, while weaving in and out of the evening crowd at the Dhoby Ghaut station. I started asking myself where all my energy went, was it not only last week I was so perked up and bouncing of the walls?? Suddenly the Lord spoke to me. "Because you haven't been praying.." Ahhhhhh....Revelation. I did so immediately on my way to the studio, despite the weird stares from people walking close enough to hear me mumbling. After class, my energy was totally zapped outta me again. I had one of the lonliest walk home with no Hp and no wallet. I couldn't buy a drink or call up Sheep to whine. I resorted to comfort left over potato and luncheon meat soup left on the stove and a cup of unsweetened milo (coz the maid prolly bought the wrong kind..). Terrible. Sat infront of the laptop for fifteen mins scrolling through my msn namelist about three times and going through my mail twice had me confirm that I had nobody to talk to and yes.. I was - alone. Sheep has decided to go to bed early (we're talking again but avoiding everything we had argued about), my siblings had alienated themselves to their individual corners and even my dog refuses to lie down beside me. That traitor dog is trying to scratch my sibling's door so that she can join hachi on the bed in the Air-Con Room... B^$%#.... Oh well, it is definately more comfy there, can't blame her. Who wants to sleep on the hard floor in the heat with a lousy fan and a bored, sulking master? You know what all these means to me? It means I am out of touch. I need a fresh touch from the HS. I need to be in touch with him so that I can live life. For he said, open wide your mouth and I will fill it with LIFE... So WHAT if I lost my phone...SO WHAT if nobody's gonna buy that pair of boots...SO WHAT if that couple seems like they've got it going on...SO WHAT if the low period is coming... HE can change everything. So I need to get connected. I need to be in TOUCH.
sakura blossom falls at: 11:47 PM
What a mess... But your strength is seen in my weakness...
Time passes so quickly. Hour after hour, day after day. Days seem so long but never enough time to do everything. Work is slowing down for me. It's May..Camps are coming. I dread camps. Rehearsals are getting tight coz I'm performing for National day. First time ever in Singapore. The first pole dancers to dance before the PM. What a priviledge. I love my job, really indeed it is a priviledge to do what I love to do. Nette is 24 now. I'm turning 25. How scary.. I only have another 5 years to reach my goal. To be the best. At least that's for my own goal. But I'll leave it to him. He knows best. Had such a hectic week but time spent on work was little. Sometimes I get worried and panicky but I know he will provide for me. I did something horrible today. I finally said it out. That I didn't know how to be happy anymore. I didn't mean to hurt him with my words. I just want to be heard, I want him to understand to help me fall in love again. Love is indeed selfish. We all are. How can we cure this disease? Hw can we inject selflessness into our souls? How can we create a love miracle? How can we snap our fingers and turn into the Right One in an instant? Is Romance real? Is chemistry between 2 people real emotions that we are feeling? What is the spark that people are talking about? OR does it even exist? What is the true meaning of a relationship? Another sleepless night. My mum is in pain, heartpain. Eddie is just killing her softly with his selfishness. Pls help them Lord. My godmother is sucidal. Now she may get what she wants and she's scared. She doesn't want to die, she just wants to live. She wants to live for a purpose. How can we let her know that her destiny is so close. All she needs is faith... It's almost 4am. I wanted to turn in early today. I don't like my life to be this way. I want to be happy, I want to be revived. I feel so heavy now, so tired. My eyes are swollen and my throat is dry. I'm searching frantically for something solid to hold on to. The tide is washing over me again and again, my head is bobbing in the salty waters desperately gasping for air. Sometimes I can manage to float wen the tide goes down but today the tide is high and I'm holding on. When will I slip... If I slip Lord, let me fall at your feet...
sakura blossom falls at: 3:29 AM
