Chinese new year. I use to like it until I started having bfs. Can't remember why but now the feeling still remains. I dislike CNY. I haven't done so much washing for a long time now. My hands are dry and coarse making the callouses on my palms look dangerously capable of splitting apart any moment. I watched 2 movies in two days. Pretty rare. I experienced a really weird feeling today after my movie. Nostalgia hit me like never before and what I felt made me feel that my past was only just a dream. Everything that I had in Jln semerbak was not real and I felt a little angry as if reality was mocking me. Living with my family, my memories were being stolen away. The fear of losing them overwhelmed me and I started to choke with emotions. I miss my family. I miss my mum. Even though I get to see them whenever I want to the feeling is just different and I can't explain it. Life is great. I am blessed with so much and I am thankful with what I have and don't have. I appreciate what I felt today. Made me realise how important my family is to me even if I think I already know it. MAde me realise that nothing is real. What we hold on so tight at this moment can be so meaningless at the next. What we think is so real now can just fade into a dream without you even realising it. This is life. Meaningless. But live well for he wants us to. Live strong and please him in all we do for that is the only thing that will last, that will bring meaning into our life. He is the Only reason why I breathe.
sakura blossom falls at: 2:30 AM
