What a mess... But your strength is seen in my weakness...
Time passes so quickly. Hour after hour, day after day. Days seem so long but never enough time to do everything. Work is slowing down for me. It's May..Camps are coming. I dread camps. Rehearsals are getting tight coz I'm performing for National day. First time ever in Singapore. The first pole dancers to dance before the PM. What a priviledge. I love my job, really indeed it is a priviledge to do what I love to do. Nette is 24 now. I'm turning 25. How scary.. I only have another 5 years to reach my goal. To be the best. At least that's for my own goal. But I'll leave it to him. He knows best. Had such a hectic week but time spent on work was little. Sometimes I get worried and panicky but I know he will provide for me. I did something horrible today. I finally said it out. That I didn't know how to be happy anymore. I didn't mean to hurt him with my words. I just want to be heard, I want him to understand to help me fall in love again. Love is indeed selfish. We all are. How can we cure this disease? Hw can we inject selflessness into our souls? How can we create a love miracle? How can we snap our fingers and turn into the Right One in an instant? Is Romance real? Is chemistry between 2 people real emotions that we are feeling? What is the spark that people are talking about? OR does it even exist? What is the true meaning of a relationship? Another sleepless night. My mum is in pain, heartpain. Eddie is just killing her softly with his selfishness. Pls help them Lord. My godmother is sucidal. Now she may get what she wants and she's scared. She doesn't want to die, she just wants to live. She wants to live for a purpose. How can we let her know that her destiny is so close. All she needs is faith... It's almost 4am. I wanted to turn in early today. I don't like my life to be this way. I want to be happy, I want to be revived. I feel so heavy now, so tired. My eyes are swollen and my throat is dry. I'm searching frantically for something solid to hold on to. The tide is washing over me again and again, my head is bobbing in the salty waters desperately gasping for air. Sometimes I can manage to float wen the tide goes down but today the tide is high and I'm holding on. When will I slip... If I slip Lord, let me fall at your feet...
sakura blossom falls at: 3:29 AM
