This is gonna be short...
Last night during the church wide bible study on the book "song of songs", I experienced God and his loving presence again. It was magnificent. I cried and repented of my bad habits and selfishness as he brought back so many memories but yet he does not condemn. I think he is telling me to come out..come out and embrace the world now for he has a destiny waiting for me. His chastening may be hard but that's the calling of the cross, and he is preparing me for what is ahead. Winter is coming to an end and Spring will follow. I need to rid of all the foxes, big and little before they destroy my fruits. Punctuality, pride, selfishness, self-discipline and one particular soul tie. He brought me back to all the times when I said that I'll lay down my life for him again and again, when I said that I will always love him no matter what. That I'll do it his way, not mine. Then he showed me many many faces of women, there were so many, and I was weeping and he said "All the women, all the women... and there you will shine.." It felt so real and unreal at the same time. Had I imagined it? An image of Les came into my mind, what does God want me to do with her? After the scv, I recieved a missed call from Les. She wanted me to do a intro to Exotic Dance workshop for some women. Divine. All things will turn out for good for those who love him. I want to move on from faltering love to something deeper. I am waiting now. Waiting for spring to arrive where I will run and leap over mountains and valleys with my lover. I will learn to lean on him and hold his hands as he leads me to the fountain where living waters flows...
sakura blossom falls at: 11:15 AM
