I have been walking alot. Travelling around by bus or train. Many times I walk to the strain station numb from exhaustion and head spinning with thoughts and some parts of a certain song. Just when my tired ass gets to sit on a bench in between the railways, the train would arrive. Then off I go again. In the train, I struggle with standing or squeezing with different people during peak hours while suffering the weight of my heavy bag in silence. Just when I got a seat left empty in front of me, its my turn to get off. Life is really like that. Always moving, always head of you. Just when you think you're there, you get thrown off the tracks. Just when you think you got your break, you're thrown into the fields again. This is life, you just need to keep moving, keep going, keep on keeping on.
Even if I work very hard I might not get what I want either. Others are born hyper extended, and flexibility is easily attained. I try all ways to get flexible, so I work very hard, but I face complications just when I thought I had improved. I had always struggled financially all these years and just when I thought my income was getting more stable, I'm faced with debts for my house and renovation. And these are only a few of the many examples. There will always be something new to be worried or stressed about, always be something that'll cause you to be depressed. But this is life, we live in a broken down world after all. So I'm thankful for the peace inside of me, the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Today is my 2nd day of being an elf. I'm down with flu and my legs are so sore form all the running and walking around Orchard. My fellow elf mate is Francis from Danz people. What a coincidence. I really wonder if the whole contract with them will pull through. My weekends are even busier than my weekdays, just when I thought the SGPS camp and rehearsals are finally over.
I got to know this girl 1 or 2 weeks back, Clarissa in a beauty shop. She's fair and pretty. We talked and somehow we started to share our personal lives with each other. She's young, 27, and aneroxic. She's probably sucidal too. We exchanged numbers and I was very happy that she was willing to be friends. I promised that we would go out again. She text me the next day to ask if I was free but I wasn't and had to turn her down. Tried asking her our again the week after but I couldn't reach her anymore. Her line was always connected to her voicemail. Just when I was getting to know you. Please be safe. Pray that we meet again.
My house is in the process of transformation. I'm so tired that I can't even be bothered about the progress. Sheep is the one making all the arrangements and dragging me around to make enquiries. Everything is so rushed that I don't really get to enjoy the process. Just like my wedding. Just like the trains. Just like life. Nobody will slow down for you. No one is gonna wait for you. You just need to keep walking and trust that you will see the other side of the rainbow.
sakura blossom falls at: 12:44 AM
