Today is my birthday. I have spent almost every birthday in tears until I met Denjz and he has made my past 2 birthdays quite peaceful. I'm 25 today. In the midst of all the buzz and fuss, I feel like I'm in the eye of a hurricane. I am not grieving anymore, I am happy that I stayed at home, I fasted and prayed and God's prescence is still real. Yesterday I made a careless mistake by not checking my phone that caused my friend to get upset with me. She was supposed to celebrate with me and it my only "real" celebration. But she didn't know that I thought it was confirmed so she waited for me to text her and lost her cool while I was foolishly preparing for our date until I saw her msgs. I have no idea how this misunderstanding caused her to feel that I don't put in effort to meet her all the time, or to make her so angry and bitter. It really made me wonder when she had started feeling like that. I started to evaluate our friendship and I see some cracks here and there over the past year or so. I've always let her have her way and followed her decisions. No doubt that I truly love her as my best friend. To say that I don't put in effort is not fair, I always try to show up unless I'm really so tired that I can't make it. I always try to take her calls and listen to all she has to say even if I'm in a rush. I tried asking her out before but most of the time she doesn't like my activities so I always just let her decide on when and where to meet, what to do. So that she's happy. When she got upset with me yesterday and called off our meeting, I just stayed home and cried the whole day. I felt really hurt even though it was my fault to begin with, but I didn't mean it. Y so angry? She didn't even text me today. She probably won't turn up for class later too. I won't be surprised, knowing her.. I'm gonna let the matter rest and wait and see what our friendship is built upon.
Tonight is cupcakes night.(Thanks to Ming)God is always good. He always has his way of cheering you up when you think you are so down.
sakura blossom falls at: 2:50 PM
